writeonwater

this

2012-02-01T08:58:00.002+01:00

certain disregard
sweeps of attention
over blind repetition

still it stops
sees
this

vigil

2011-09-17T00:33:00.001+02:00

I need someone
to watch over
me

for if I close my eyes
the world might stop

my own lullaby

2011-09-17T00:20:00.002+02:00

some times its only my own words
I must expel their unruly hordes
my hair a scrambled hoard
of those that couldn't get away

the dark tumult spills
and the pressure lifts
from my tired head
finally, I go to bed

push

2011-09-17T00:15:00.002+02:00

why do I allow
the night to keep me awake
jets struggling to land
against its dull groan

the neighbour's toilet
an ineffectual drowning attempt
my rolling head
held up by the dark

my mind devoid of belief
dry-eyed listless
I wait for a promise
that must lie

beyond this

collected

2011-09-14T18:08:00.003+02:00

calling down the rain
on a perfectly sunny day
rush the commuters home
the lunchtime picnickers in

its only right
that the righteous
huddle under the covers
now I go to work

destroyer

2011-09-02T12:47:00.003+02:00

duck your head down
tuck your chin
in the crook of an arm
listen to the invisible drum
and let the world
go

unburdening

2011-08-16T00:10:00.001+02:00

before I lay
this head to rest
the day must ebb
and my consciousness
flow clear

this summer

2011-07-11T00:29:00.001+02:00

the storms build up
the people secure
their posessions
their voices tight and tired
with tension

yet again
they fail
to break

harrowed

2011-07-02T23:07:00.001+02:00

I could just
go limp
again in the face
of a familiar storm

but this time
I chose to howl

this way

2011-06-24T13:04:00.001+02:00

suddenly I'm back
in just that bend of the path
the surrurating wind
names the place
and I know
home again

creative tension

2011-06-24T13:02:00.001+02:00

a will to work
the inner strains
of my being

obstinate and loved
like my own child

and I tireless
refuse to give in
to entropy

unwilling

2011-06-24T13:00:00.001+02:00

to structure the day
till a word appears -
lighthouse

when all I want is
to crash
on the rocks

death song

2011-05-05T11:11:00.002+02:00

my friend, I wake to meet you
now conscious
that we only played a while
there still is
a long way to go
before you claim me

remove me from
the middle of a galaxy
of appearances
the untidy emanation
of life

take the essence
to its final dignity

substitutes

2011-04-25T18:00:00.002+02:00

sudden chuckle and gush
a midnight wind
in a far forest
or a flood of light
into my living room

sublimnal stir
of a wakeful fridge
today
the cicada song
inside my head

upstairs someone
tunes a violin
while I
clothe myself in words

Floral obsession

2011-01-13T11:32:00.005+01:00

I am transfixed

In an erotic tension

Textured petals spreading

Their open secret centers

Attitudes of graceful abandon

Absolute silence

They share with me

Like any lover

Underwater afternoon

2011-01-13T11:25:00.003+01:00

Midwater between lunch and tea

People float in the heat

The tepid air in the rooms

Stands still

To give birth

Unsupervised

And casual

To a creative break

All monsters know this threshold

Taboo to the pious

Launchboard to fool around

What'd you say?

2011-01-13T11:17:00.002+01:00

On the face of it

Grave concern for others

For the good

Gives way to

Drive for absolute control

Of the environment

And it's only

An inner ineptitude

To be quiet, alone

november gray

2010-11-10T08:42:00.003+01:00

leached, the day rises

wary

honed, the senses search

for life

over the daily jet drone,

birds answer mechanically

23:33 29.10.10

2010-10-29T23:33:00.002+02:00

to give this

its significance

now recorded

and then

relieved

go to bed

autumn

2010-10-21T16:16:00.001+02:00

right in the middle

on a busy street

a slender tree, ablaze

silent

reflection on yet another road movie

2010-10-03T11:21:00.002+02:00

enough of maps
charted itenaries
the road itself an obscenity
spat at my feet

i still hunger
to get lost
left to my own devices

gone
too far
leave
not a ripple behind

Calling Bapu

2010-10-02T09:38:00.002+02:00

Marauding children
Vent their despair
On the elements
That rage on, silent

Some call
For a strong hand
Full of earth
Reclaim it

Hold it
Yet closer
To the heart

the long run

2010-09-28T10:03:00.002+02:00

the city hunkers
before the storm
that flees
before the snow
that waits
for me
to go east

mortality

2010-09-27T09:28:00.002+02:00

When the flesh wears heavy,
the bones protrude, awkward.
I expell my ragged breath.
Yet again,
I am
human

rapt

2010-08-31T23:44:00.000+02:00

listening to the silence
I can't tear myself away

so tired of noise

last thoughts

2010-08-31T23:18:00.003+02:00

wonder where this head will fall
at the end
of a fight to the death

for it is quite empty
of intent
ready

breakfast soup

2010-08-18T09:40:00.002+02:00

dream bits
last night's movies
overheard conversations
this morning's surf

float around
while i try to
look through
to the substance

available

2010-08-08T09:50:00.001+02:00

I like to wait
for this
brings
the unexpected,
inexorably
to me.

contained

2010-08-06T12:55:00.002+02:00

visibility is best
at high tide
the sea monster's
shape shows
sounds find
room to grow
drowns the debris
outside

No traces

2010-08-04T16:42:00.000+02:00

Content
to leave
nothing
myself ,

for what
is mine
to leave
anyway.

the circle

2010-08-03T10:58:00.002+02:00

from the depths of dark
deeper than deep
where the black inverts
rise single-pointed
and grow

listening to you hear me out

2010-08-01T09:13:00.003+02:00

as a thought unfurls
a dark stain spreads

I offer you a burst of words,
now twice heard

we agree with smiling eyes
trite, right - not very bright

before the end

2010-07-31T09:04:00.002+02:00

among full green
renovated roofs

our endeavors complete
hunker down, enjoy the summer fruit

gaze into the sky
and wait

for christina ricci, buffalo 66

2010-07-31T07:43:00.002+02:00

slip, between the lines
light, surreptitious
soft, slight sleight of hand
step out, strip off the skin

...

all we all know
of where you go
is the knowing
in your eyes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHPLg9sHphI

drowning at high sea

2010-07-30T13:36:00.002+02:00

this is the way
the end must come

for the storm must roar
my ship will groan

and I, alone at last
with you, Beloved

will be quite quenched
and quiet, acquiescent

2010-07-30T13:18:00.001+02:00

it seems to me that
we are ever passing
another shore
yet another valley

forever seeking
to cross
the mountains
of our minds

unmindful
of starlight
crowning
our silences

slow return

2010-07-30T10:24:00.002+02:00

bated breath
steal into bed
hush, follow

those long folded feet
legs easily aligned
up the supine spine

sweep the nape
speak straight
from the heart

eyes closed
I'm back
you know

rhyme or reason

2010-06-30T09:38:00.002+02:00

freely exposed
to a moment's vagaries
a seagull flashes in flight and cries
as the light floods
my reverie

leaving the scene

2010-06-30T09:14:00.003+02:00

sometimes I'm a warp
in the air
people push and stumble by

impelled on
a secret course
they discover by and by

while I remain, touched
by their unawareness
of my following eye

the little we know

2010-06-29T06:37:00.002+02:00

retreats before
our great endeavours

the white page
prevails
at the end of days

what goes on
is what shows

for you*

2010-06-28T16:16:00.005+02:00

The boyish grace
I always missed

With which you said
here, like this

One hand open,
the other holding me
from the abyss

*out there
you know
who you are

eventually

2010-06-28T10:44:00.002+02:00

slip through the slats
steady, light
i can move
the bars
or just let them be
lucky
light
leaves no trace
not a sound

helsinki light

2010-06-27T08:50:00.002+02:00

like the Alpine snow
traces every line

in perfect emphasis
that is how it essentially, is

I close my eyes,
Yes, it is exactly, so

For Soanya and Reid

2010-06-23T08:42:00.002+02:00

it's when the light is fading
the world slips
over another threshold

I bind myself
to the mast
and fall

knowing
I will find you
there too

tarry

2010-06-22T09:55:00.002+02:00

exploring inertia,
faithful enemy
fought every wakeful moment

to stay myself,
let me be
alone

an empty shell
gently rolling with the surge
on the ocean floor

then there's entropy
stealthy invader
slow ruin every time I'm away

freedom
wanting its way
to a final truth

unraveled,
divested of the dead
gone to seed

transported

2010-06-21T18:06:00.002+02:00

the silently heaving chestnut tree outside
carries me to the mentawai islands.

the leaf underside fingers
gesturing in the same language.

see the wind, child.
my playmate, a word dirtied elsewhere ...

here I plant
the sweetest kiss on his lips.

unbidden, unbridled
I give in to innocent excess

direct

2010-06-21T17:49:00.002+02:00

a slight slip
slick grip,
right through
to the heart

eternal pact of
killer and quarry
eyes locked
knowing the knife

late in the day

2010-06-18T14:34:00.001+02:00

after the storm
the day begins again

after my sleep
the birdcalls convince me again

to rise

the churning

2010-06-17T10:16:00.001+02:00

let the beater
fall to the sea bed
self-driven

let it spend
it's self-will
the waves will stop
eventually

secrets

2010-06-16T07:57:00.002+02:00

a crow sits on the highest level of a tv-antenna
facing north into a concrete sky

it's a day that resists -
waking up, movement
flights of fancy

it huddles
inscrutable
and breeds flight patterns
in silence

in passing

2010-06-15T09:19:00.003+02:00

as you rush by
your hands full
with scrap metal
screaming your hurt

all I can do is
raise a hand,
then withdraw
silenced, grateful

gleanings

2010-06-14T10:22:00.002+02:00

today, I'm skimmed
all that's risen
in the quiet night

swept-off, given-away.
feeding
that feeds me

age

2010-06-13T09:51:00.001+02:00

a fortune of years
I know now
life is long

and can let
a moment
be eternity

Pablito or Ruben van Ashout

2010-06-12T09:10:00.002+02:00

he seems a metaphor
for what will remain of humanity
in it's reckless need for speed

chastened by survival
his bruised innocence,
eyes now fixed on the essential

last thoughts

2010-06-11T23:45:00.001+02:00

i have pushed
the tiredness away
often enough
to lie down now
and rest

i will be above it
again

for cedric

2010-06-11T08:38:00.000+02:00

suddenly
joy touches my calloused soul
so deeply
all I can do
is sing my surprise

enraptured
walk on water
smile upon
my tormentor
come into my arms, friend

joy

2010-06-11T08:23:00.002+02:00

smile upon your own foolishness
inhale a nectarine blush
jet off to a better place

convinced of tomorrow
credulous of more
bless today
just as it is

reprise

2010-06-10T10:52:00.001+02:00

once the day breaks,
stains the dark silence

wipe the mind smears,
the moon shimmers through

then listen

2010-06-09T08:25:00.002+02:00

dead weight
descend to the depths
beyond sin and innocence

when the words stop
sense sense

noise nausea

2010-06-08T09:51:00.002+02:00

a phrase rises
and fades away
in my mind

while an electric
grinding wheel
pares down my neighbours window

i tap the letters
into my consciousness
under the over-flow

quiet

2010-06-07T09:34:00.002+02:00

i am not looking for certainty
but nuances
between the obvious

travelled so many roads
been so many places
now i just enjoy the flow

blind

2010-06-06T11:46:00.003+02:00

slack-jawed slaver
can't you see
I can't see
me

it's from the drool
on my skin
the croon in
my throat

that I know
I am
not alone

plumb

2010-06-06T11:38:00.003+02:00

headlong plunge
to the greenest depth
skin seared by the cold

senseless fingers
grope the softest bed
where my secrets grow

breathless mouthing
swallowing, tell
what can never be told

something grows in the dark.

2010-06-06T10:40:00.003+02:00

slow stir
unfurl

silent whirl

a galaxy hurls
a star sparks,
dies

in the black
of an eye

goodnight

2009-10-21T09:41:00.001+02:00

as your mind
vanishes

a white flash
implodes
in your eye

return
to the seed of me

tell, stories

2009-08-27T23:13:00.001+02:00

When we create stories,
we set a part of us bare to the universe.

Or vice versa,
a story is created when a part of the universe bares itself to us.

When the story is bared to other people,
whatever happens is a story in itself
- and can be engrossing too.
But it is another story altogether.

How many of us can actually tell
the stories we tell
in our heads and to others
from the reality out there?

re-route

2009-05-10T23:12:00.000+02:00

return
to the world without
rooted
in the world within

to night

2009-05-03T22:52:00.003+02:00

the room rings
with cicada silence

when I put my mind to it
it stops

quiet now
I go to bed

miss inspiration

2009-05-02T22:15:00.002+02:00

wouldn't dream of
you outside of myself

another one
to refuse or entertain

i wouldn't know
myself

if it weren't
for you

Rabbit

2008-05-30T23:33:00.000+02:00

So here's the story. They came thundering down the hill. Only this time, he was ready. He came around the house slow and easy, natural-like. Not one of them noticed what was happening.

Just as they came past the turn with the dust and noise he shot across the road, the whites of his eyes showing - his big black pupils fixed the reddened blue eyes between the gaudy pennants. He saw the jaw drop, a round black hole replace the brown stump and then he tumbled over the culvert into the fields below, long legs pumping, his little heart pounding under the ground again.

The crash echoed behind him with the juicy sound of vegetables falling in the dust. Then, the curses and what he had waited for, "You've got to stop overloading the trailer, Sonny. Just leave some of them carrots, the rabbits can use them. Now start filling the damn thing all over again."

A way with words

2007-12-05T03:37:00.000+01:00

Making out the forms and strains of meaning in my mind. If I could just get it - down. Sit down. And look,within. Right? Write it - down. Settle - down. See.

delve

2007-05-05T10:14:00.000+02:00

you, the treasure
my hands casually
probe and savour

grasp and gasp
goldfish of desire
in a joy stream

bubbling memory
presence or imagination
does it matter?

i know it's you

tempered obsession

2007-02-26T18:13:00.000+01:00

you started this
slow burn
not a whiff of smoke
betrays the heat

just the bright
light of my eyes
men smile on the street
some look chagrined

i cast my gaze
to the ground and inwards
a volcano explodes
in silence

dear heart

2007-01-31T06:47:00.000+01:00

hmm
i feel your beat
growing louder
the wind is roaring outside again
the chill
falls on my skin
gently urging
me to bed
where your warmth
waits

late night chill

2007-01-27T22:26:00.000+01:00

still
the night sounds
in my hermetic hull

still
i'm awake
to cast my spirit net

still
slow cooling fingers
grasp for you

still
i want to be awake
when you're here

still

exquisite

2007-01-21T00:28:00.000+01:00

spread out
under the lovelight
touch my hair
excite me

fingers running
over my haunches
sweet smoothness
pleasure me

eyes closed
draw your face
over mine
claim me

circuit

2007-01-13T18:53:00.000+01:00

now this won't do
you're not here
and my want
is

knowing
you are
makes me want
you more

knowing you want me
makes me want
to give more
of me to you

i'm not there
to rather give and not want
any more
than this

end of the day

2006-11-17T22:41:00.000+01:00

sucking air
betweeen my teeth
arch my back
point my feet

the day is done in,
dark sky saturated

and i had
nothing to do
with it

content

2006-11-12T22:01:00.000+01:00

good to know
the good known
is still
good

some breakdowns
shake down
to bare bones
so well-known

o beloved
body free soul
mind less
heartbeat

the sisters

2006-11-11T13:39:00.000+01:00

we know
the mysteries of the ages
though
we're only three
and so young

virgins
still
our bodies
contain all creation
and destruction

look,
inspite of this
and because of it
we dance and celebrate
today

the call

2006-11-11T13:33:00.000+01:00

the cd-player
wails in oriental plaints
soundless scream
from my soul

siren call
come, wild ones
reclaim me
i challenge

fight or fall
before the raised sword
of my great heart
learn to bow your head

like this

wantwoman

2006-08-30T07:33:00.000+02:00

self seeking
dark urge implodes
own womb
there is no one else

swollen longing
sweats and quivers
with child
in the wilderness

chill dawn
crackles and breaks
cold light's
sweetest caress

catch my fall

2006-07-22T15:35:00.000+02:00

could she stand another day of freedom? she awoke to the predawn blue. insistent augury of calamity. now the calmness broke, she got out of the white bed and floated out on the wooded floor. setting yellow moons against the midnight, she took a cup of warm fluid and settled in to wait. what could reach this height, the luxury of a liner embedded into a romantic european city? everything is so well-understood and charted here. they have words for everything - weltschmerz and fernweh. well, what of lung-freezing freedom, the shock of anti-gravity. when not even freefall is inevitable, one has to be inventive to choose.

she pulls on a navy tracksuit. ponytailed, she slaps the keys into her thigh-pocket and strides out. soon she's sweating and running, the city pulls away from her feet. there's no one on the street, it's armageddon. she's running away from her, her life, the place, the position. everything loses substance around her, her feet seem to pound her up and away.

soon she's at the river and she slows down, this is another place. old ladies walk their dogs and meet her eyes in silent greeting. admonishing her to nod. this is how it is here, they seem to say. you better have a reason for being here, get yourself a dog. she looks forward, couples roll by. blading their mutual satisfaction into the path. no, no that's for them - she shakes her head and begins to trot. looking for a place to be alone again.

she peels her clothes and walks into the water, the shock pleasuring her. her tension abates, she loosens up and plunges in fully. her lips slacken and she draws a deep breath of gratitude for this. redeemed.

beached

2006-07-22T15:32:00.000+02:00

so long on this outpost
the dogs don't tire
reporting my presence

they've gotten used
used to being seen through
profaned rather than ashamed

i turn my eyes heavenward
blessed expanse
and wait for a lurch

my love today

2006-02-14T10:30:00.000+01:00

my fingers grasp you
in sleep
my sighs
whisper in your ears

this incessant seeking
to name
your universality
my friend, brother, son, father
my man

it's me

2005-11-25T23:20:00.000+01:00

there is a younger girl
stepping out of the habit
i know her well

playful wilful
ooh, it's so good to be back again
you're gonna love me, lover

listen

2005-11-25T23:19:00.000+01:00

my fewest words:
just my hand
eyes body
contain
all of essence

take it
please

out

2005-11-25T23:12:00.000+01:00

out
here I steer this retro ship
castling a habitual look
over my shoulder
for that trailing
you

out
there's
always been something
at my back
reaching for me
snaking connecting
us

out
of it
being and becoming
in turn
we change modes
morphing into
all

disengaged

2005-11-25T23:10:00.000+01:00

yeah, you let me loose
now don't complain
if i forgot my name

and don't answer
when you cry
to call me home

take this

2005-11-25T23:03:00.000+01:00

in the gut
throbbing beat
face upturned
to the galaxy

my heels pound
the heart of the earth
my fingers
graze the sky

all into my eyes
deep within

drag

2005-11-25T22:54:00.000+01:00

cool swirl around my ankles
fingers stiffen at the keys
i turn a deaf ear
to the jungle in my living room

sick to my stomach
of other's words
i surrender to my
own flow

yes, been gone long
this time
i know

the sweetest solitude

2005-10-01T19:19:00.000+02:00

you're here
in the acceptance
of today

you are
that which enjoys
my sweetest solitude

vague

2005-09-23T15:06:00.000+02:00

just here
around the corner
of my mind
lies a teeming nest
delight in light
surprise sprays
from her eyes

surrender

2005-09-10T18:38:00.000+02:00

i can't make a sound
and not say your name

my gestures
are your expression

rapture of
my wonder
you

matter?

2005-09-10T18:32:00.000+02:00

no it doesn't
nothing does
for there is
no one
only
love

my eyes

2005-09-10T18:23:00.000+02:00

i drop my gaze
for i know
the knowledge of you
spills out
and drives all else before it
i contain my sanity
so they remain insane

profusion

2005-09-10T18:15:00.000+02:00

i reach into my breast
set the white dove free
your cue to rise up
ten thousand horses
salute the sun and stars
the earth spreads green
under my heels
you raise a white dust wave
all creation joins us
in pure fusion

i know

2005-09-10T18:12:00.000+02:00

so long
have my eyes
waited
to see
that you've
waited
even longer

o, you

2005-09-10T17:55:00.000+02:00

i am see through
a loose constellation
your essence pervades it's space

i am peopled, entranced, livened
a dance rises to my mouth
there is only you

forever

2005-09-10T17:44:00.000+02:00

dry mouthed
i swallow and wait
in eternity
your face smiles
into the void
within me
the first sound rises
and answers
my silence